Journal
by Circe
Summary: Some of Hermione's thoughts during the Summer after GoF
1. Default Chapter

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A/N: This may seem a silly, clinched idea, but through writing Summer, Paris and so far HHEE, I've begun feeling a real closeness with Hermione. There may already be something out there like this, but it's based on how Hermione felt during my own fics, and the events ,and dialogue of those.

There are some great fanfictions who show us what a great person Hermione became, but what I am attempting here, is to show that it wasn't easy, and that she "suffered" the same things all females do, on her journey .Just because she was involved in some extraordinary events, due to her talents, abilities and her friendship with The Boy Who Lived, it's nice to see she's not a paragon of virtue. 

I hope you liked this. It gave me a lot of satisfaction to write, and it'll be interesting to see whether Hermione appears in my head again soon. Might get crowded in there, with Harry and Hermione jostling for POV space in my average sized brain.

  
Chapter One - Some Thoughts

  
I can't believe I'm going to start a journal. Ginny has kept one for years, but it just never seemed my kind of thing. I've always been too busy with school work, and trying to read and learn as much as possible. Of course, having Ron and Harry as best friends doesn't leave much time for whiling away the time writing my thoughts.

This year was different though. Maybe if I'd written down my thoughts, I'd be less confused now! Have I made a total mess of things? Ron and I fought so much this year, but it was somehow different, and I know he'd like things to be different with us. It's just that neither of us knows how to behave, other than with the bickering we do.

I know I've got to decide soon whether to visit Viktor this summer. Whether I _want_ to visit him, that is. If I want to, there's the whole other job of convincing Mum and Dad to allow me to go. They're talking about visiting France again this summer, and I'd hate to miss that. For some reason, I want to go shopping! Maybe it was knowing I looked nice at the Yule Ball this year, but suddenly, it seems Lavendar and Pavarti weren't as ridiculous as I always thought they were, thinking about how they look. It was very, well, pleasant, seeing the look on Viktor's face when he saw me! Of course Ron was mad, guess he really never thought I could look good, just old, dependable me. And Harry didn't even recognize me!

I have to admit, Harry is a big part of deciding to start a journal. I'm so confused, and I still can't believe I kissed him on the cheek when we left school! Harry is my best friend, in some ways even more than Ron. At least we don't stay angry with each other most of the time, the way Ron and I do, except when I told Professor McGonagall about his Firebolt, and it was taken away. I know he's never thought of me the way he does Cho Chang, but maybe....?

Oh, what am I thinking?!?! Harry thinks of me as part of the furniture, even more than Ron does. Sure, he came to me when he needed help with the first task, and we spent a lot of time together when he and Ron were so angry with each other. But he wasn't happy and having fun, the way all of us do together. They don't have any idea how tired I get of being the "smart" one, but I guess it's too late to change that now.

Just one time though, I'd love to see Harry go red when he tries to talk to me, the way he does with Cho. The funny thing is, he has no idea how adorable he looks when that happens. Doesn't she see it? Not right now, of course. Cho is only thinking of Cedric, which is right. None of us can really believe Cedric is gone. I never really knew him very well, but he was a person who seemed to have so much to give, and would do great things.Even being that way, he was always kind to everyone. Even little bookworms with bushy hair and too big teeth. We'll all miss him terribly.

Harry doesn't know it yet, but he may soon be spending a bit more time away from the Dursleys. Mum and Dad, as I have known for a year, are the Dursleys dentists. I never told Harry because they embarrass him badly enough, without me having to tell him what horrors they have been to my parents. But I had an idea, and Mum and Dad have agreed to give it a try. The person who's been their general helper in the office has left, moved to Australia. The 'rents have agreed to ask Harry's Uncle Vernon to let Harry try the job. Of course I always help in the summers, but I have schoolwork to do, and, okay, I admit it, I want to work on my hair and clothes, and practice not looking like a permanent resident of the library. And this way, Harry can enjoy the summer( I hope) for a change.

For some reason, I feel my life is about to change a lot, like I'm going to find out some big mystery. Is it about Harry? Mum seems to feel we need to get him away from the Dursleys as much as I do. She got really, really mad when I told her how mean they've been to him. Mum never gets angry like that.

I guess I will find out later today. For now, though, I'm home, and I already miss Hogwarts!

Disclaimer: All characters above belong to JK Rowling, and the publishers affiliated with her. No infringement is intended, and my only profit from this is the enjoyment of spending time in my head with Hermione.


	2. Chapter 2 "I DO Have an Inner Eye"

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A/N OK, may I first begin by correcting myself. In the first chapter, I mentioned a cliched fic. Unfortunately, my spell check preferred clinched. Wonder what it would make of "splinched" ?

Thanks to all who reviewed, and asked for more (try and stop me), especially to "Dulcis" who wrote the first review AND was there to calm my post-posting nerves.

  
Journal 2 - "I _Do _Have an Inner Eye!   
I knew I wouldn't write in a journal every day, but things HAVE been interesting since I arrived home from Hogwarts. It turns out I was right about some of those feelings that there was going to be a mystery revealed. Wish I could go throw that in Trelawney's face, the old fraud! What did she say about me? That I had no aura, or some foolish thing? But Mum says she and Sibyl never saw eye to eye, guess Mum didn't have any aura, or an "Inner eye" either! As it turns out though, she has a lot of other things. Yes, my mum, Dr. Ivy Granger is a witch, and quite a powerful one! Ooh, poor Draco Malfoy, can't sneer and call me mudlood, now that everyone will knowMum is a witch. He'll still sneer though, as I'm not pure blooded, but I reckon we can't take away all his fun at once.

Harry's Uncle Vernon _did _agree to let Harry come work for Mum and Dad, and he says for the first time, he's been having some fun in the summer, without going to visit Ron. Things have been different with Harry, and that's been interesting too. We have both had a lot of new information and I don't know which of us has had the bigger shock. Harry says it reminds him a bit of when he was told he's a wizard.

I found out why Mum became so angry when she found out the Dursleys mistreated Harry all those years- Lily Evans was Mum's greatest friend! They even considered her as their secret-keeper, but she was a new mum then, and like Lily was wrapped up in protecting her child. After Lily and James were killed, Mum left the magical world, out of, she says, a broken heart and a desire to keep her family safe. Now Mum has someone to share the feeling of guilt with. Perhaps if she hadn't been protesting me, Harry would have parents today. Harry says it's silly to feel that way,that it could just as easily have turned out neither of us had parents or that I might not be here. He had a very odd look on his face when he said that, almost as if, do I dare write this... as if the idea of not having me around horrified him! As I said, life has become interesting. Being with Harry, here, away from Ron and schoolwork, and quidditch, has been like, well almost like knowing another Harry. Sometimes he even seems to lose that sad, serious look that's always in his eyes, even at the happiest moments. I hope there'll be lots of times like that, this summer, because none of us knows what we're facing, with Voldemort now becoming stronger.

Sooo much has happened in a couple of days. Important things to me and to Harry, anyway! Harry sort of guessed something was up, and Mum had asked us to go do some shopping for her. I was upstairs changing and Mum wound up spilling the whole story to Harry. Well, she had to, part of it, since she was sending us to Diagon Alley. I wish I could have seen his face when he found out our mothers had been friends!

That was the beginning of a day like none I'd ever had with Harry! We went shopping for Muggle clothes for him, since Mum was finally able to give something to her best friend's son! I realize now how stupid and blind I was before. Just because _I_ didn't care about clothes, still living as a muggle in the summers away from Hogwarts, I could have helped Harry get some clothes of his own, that fit. He was so pleased, and trying so hard not to show how excited he was to have regular clothes, ones he didn't swim in! I absolutely wanted to run away bawling, but I knew that would be even more embarrassing for both of us Besides, I'd appear barking mad (again).

We saw Draco Malfoy in a muggle bookstore that I dragged Harry to, he was his usual insulting self, but this time, when he started up, Harry reached out and held onto my hand. That may have been merely to keep himself from punching Draco with that hand, but he didn't let go!

It turned out no punches were needed, because Draco's mum, who at first looked as if she was pure ice, put Draco in his place nicely. She seemed positively human, even told Harry his mom had been a lovely girl. Draco was furious at the set down she gave him, in front of us lowly Gryffindors! What a memory!

No more tonight, Harry is spending the night here, and my newly discovered "inner eye" tells me he's going to be in the kitchen soon, rummaging for a snack. I think I'll join him! After a day like this, anything could happen!

  
Disclaimer: All characters above belong to JK Rowling, and the publishers affiliated with her. No infringement is intended, and my only profit from this is the enjoyment of spending time in my head with Hermione.


End file.
